Saturday, December 29, 2012

You Just Never Know

You just never know.  Life changes in unexpected ways.  Ten years ago I could not have imagined I would be Here, geographically, familially, emotionally, financially, Here.  And Here is constantly changing.  Thank goodness!

My interests outweigh my time, something that has occurred over time, and I like that.  I'm never bored.  That's not to say I'm never dissatisfied or grumpy or mad as hell.  But I'm more likely to be looking for the wry side, or the sunny side, or any upside.

Take aging.  I'm fifty something, and feeling it.  I'm no Jane Fonda, holding onto my physical youth with both sweaty palms.  My jiggle has wrinkles, my eyes need coke bottle thick lenses to see 16 size font, and the whole hair thing is ridiculous.  Seriously.

My eyebrows are a catastrophe.  Think Phylis Diller - meets - Andy Rooney - hybrid ridiculous.  I recently had a headache, and used a gentle acupressure technique on my eyebrows to alleviate the headache.  And I rubbed two completely bald spots on my eyebrows.  About a half inch in from the center of each.  My bangs aren't long enough to camouflage these smooth wonders.  Oh yay. 

So now, the eyebrow hairs I do have can be light, or dark, soft and calm, or wiry and sticking straight out.  Yes, I said straight out.  So I tried to pluck an errant brow hair with my super duper tweezers, but I can't see well enough to grasp just one hair.  Wow.  There's another bald spot.

But there's hope, sort of.  I have plenty of hair growing out from the moles on my face.  I just need a little adhesive and voila! Presto chango, mole hair becomes eyebrow hair, sort of like the new trend in lashes, gluing on one at a time for that special lush look.  Wrye style.

But all this hair schtuff doesn't put on a damper on my love life.  Did I mention I'm single?  Oh yeah baby!  I'm in that hot demographic category, single, over 50, over educated, and liberated.  I can't play dumb to boost anyone's ego, I'm not twenty, I don't look twenty, and I don't have enough money to lure a gigolo.

But I have a secret weapon.  I ride public transportation in an area heavily populated with inebriated gents.  And they think I'm pretty.  And I believe them.  My mind is a steel trap when it comes to willing suspension of disbelief.

And maybe that's my real secret weapon.  Strength of will and the ability to bend reality to my own point of view.  How about you?  How does your point of view assist you in daily living?

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